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Cinco de Mayo Quotes

I had a Cinco de Mayo party last year (2005). I just found a poster where we wrote down "quotes of the night".

Most of you won't even get some of these, but they amuse me...

"I was going to make la orgasma, but Jace wouldn't let me." -Jenny

"Did you spill too?" (high five) -Sarah

"The last organ I messed around with messed up my back." -Jace

"The guy in the Navy did it real fast" -Sarah
"You bet your ass I did." -Joey

"Does crotch have an I in it?" -Bonny

"I jacked the camera in his crotch" -Unknown

"She wasn't man enough to break up with me herself, so the court had to do it." -Clint

"Not in a gay way, but Marcus Shenkenburg is really good looking." -Brandon

"I'm drinking til you're pretty." -Sarah

"Again, Danny...you have a beer in one hand and a pen in the other. How are you going to count?" -Joey (as Danny is trying to write a haiku)

Hope these made you giggle.

S

Reading: Marie Claire

Eating: I had a nice big breakfast with J-Cubed

Listening to: Project Runway playing in the background

Annoyed at: Vincent on Project Runway...he's weird.

Shopping for: A houseboy

Sidenote of the Day: My house is dusty.

Yeah? So? What the Hell?

I remember back in the day when I posted on here every morning.

I read up on some of those posts, and they were pretty amusing at times.

Which is ironic, because I wasn't really happy when I was posting those. I didn't like my job, and I didn't like my life...mostly because I didn't like my job.

So I quit my job...and I found a new job.

And I love this job.

Which apparently means I don't post on here anymore.

And I'm okay with that.

And that's what's on my mind this evening.

S

Reading: Star Magazine. The front page has a ginormous picture of Katie (excuse me, Tom...I mean Kate) Holmes and her ginormous forehead with a title that says "Poor Katie TRAPPED in Tom's Prison".

Eating: I just realized that I didn't eat dinner. That was smart.

Listening to: Ok Go. I love this band. Sheala and I saw them open for "They Might Be Giants" back in the Fall of 2000. I bought a shirt at that time. This now makes me feel very important and hip.

Annoyed at: The Rally DUIs

Shopping for: I don't gots no cash

Sidenote of the Day: If Chambers, Paul and I form a team for next year's World Series of Pop Culture on VH1, should our name be (a) Droppin' The F-Bomb (b) Goats on a Bridge (c) Vanderbubble or (d) _________________ (that means fill-in-the-blank)?

Ok...go

So I like to think of myself as a good...nay excellent...humor choreographer.

These guys are better...



Accept the humor as my apology for not posting for almost a month.

S

Reading: Freakonomics

Eating: A sandwich

Listening to: ...and watching the video I just posted.

Annoyed at: Nada...I have the day off!!

Shopping for: Nothing

Sidenote of the Day: I'm very excited that my bestest undergrad friends are coming up to visit me in 22 days (well...the important ones come in 22 days. Pete comes in 23 days).

Shuffling the songs of my life...

Okay, so I don't have my Ipod at work, but I do have my Yahoo Music Station, which is apparently customized to my preferences. Let's see what it reveals...

Apparently, if you hit shuffle on your ipod, the songs that come up in order answer the following questions. No cheating!

1. How does the world see you?

"Bad" by U2

"To let it go and so to find away/To let it go and so find away/I'm wide awake/I'm wide awake, wide awake/I'm not sleeping."

I kind of had to dig for some positive lyrics in that song. Thanks, World. I guess I'll go change into black now.

2. Will I have a happy life?

"Blessed" by Elton John

"You'll be blessed/You have the best/I promise you that"

Thanks, Elton!

3. What do my friends think of me?

"Chattahoochie" by Alan Jackson

"Well way down yonder on the chattahoochie/it gets hotter than a hoochie coochie."

(uncomfortable silence)

4. Do people secretly lust after me?

"Sweet Home Alabama" by Lynyrd Skynyrd

"Sweet home Alabama/Oh sweet home baby/Where the skies are so blue/And the governor's true/Sweet Home Alabama/Lordy/Lord, I'm coming home to you."

I am assuming that I am Alabama, so I take this as a huge compliment...oh numerous beaus that secretly lust after me.

5. How can I make myself happy?

"Faithfully" by Journey

Sidenote: This is like my FAVORITE song

"Highway run/Into the midnight sun/wheels go round and round in my mind."

The song is about being with a musician who's always on the road. I think this means I'm supposed to marry a rock star. That's hot.

6. What should I do with my life?

"If You're Going Through Hell" by Rodney Atkins

"If you're going through hell/Keep on going/Don't slow down/If you're scared, don't show it/You might get out/Before the devil even knows you're there."

Good to know I'm going to lead a happy life. Didn't Elton John say I was going to be blessed? Lying Queen.

7. Will I ever have children?

"Stars are Blind" by Paris Hilton

Sidenote: I'm terribly disturbed that this came up on my Yahoo music station. Yahoo recommended it without explanation, meaning Paris Hilton paid them to force all of us to listen to this song. She's desperately trying to sound like Gwen Stefani. I had to look up the lyrics of the song to see if it applied to this question. Here's what I found...

"Even though the gods are crazy/Even though the stars are blind/If you show me real love baby/I'll show you mine."

(uncomfortable silence)

8. What is some good advice for me?

"Slow Hand" by the Pointer Sisters

"I want a man with a slow hand/I want a lover with an easy touch/I want somebody who will spend some time/Not come and go in a heated rush."

I guess Paul is out.

9. How will I be remembered?

"Let Me Entertain You" by Robbie Williams

"Hell is gone and heaven's here/There's nothing left for you to fear/Shake your arse come over here/Now scream/I'm a burning effigy/Of everything I used to be/You're my rock of empathy, my dear."

Sidenote: Love this song.
Sidenote II: Fitting

10. What's my signature dance song?

"Heartlight" by Neil Diamond

Neil Diamond music is too cool to dance to. What does this say about me?

11. What's my current theme song?

"My Best Friend" by Tim McGraw

"Never had no one/That I could count on/Been let down so many times./I was tired of hurtin/so tired of searchin/til you walked in to my life."

Love this song, but not really thinking this about anybody right now. Or have I missed something? Why am I suddenly paranoid?

12. What do others think my current theme song is?

"God Bless the U.S.A." by Lee Greenwood

"And I'm proud to be an American/Where at least I know I'm free/And I won't forget the men who died/Who gave that right to me."

Thanks...this actually fits, since Chambers and Pete think I'm a redneck Republican country-lover.

13. What shall they play at my funeral?

"We Belong" by Pat Benatar

Loves it! Overdramatic 80s music is perfect for my funeral.

"We belong to the light/We belong to the thunder/We belong to the sound of the words/Weve both fallen under/Whatever we deny or embrace/For worse or for better/We belong, we belong/We belong together."

14. What type of men do I like?

"True" by Spandau Ballet

"So true funny how it seems/always in time, but never in line for dreams./Head over heels when toe to toe./This is the sound of my soul,/this is the sound.

So I also want to date overdramatic guys stuck in the 80s. Interesting...

15. How's my love life?

"Mighty O" by Outkast

Dear God...can't...stop...giggling.

I think I may fire myself...

So I used to post something everyday on here. Whether it was serious, crazy or silly...there was always something posted on the weekdays.

Then I start this new job...where I see stuff daily that tops any story I ever described on here...

And I can't post those stories.

I have more to say than I did before, but I can't say it. Why? Two reasons:
1. It's confidential, and
2. I'm happy.

Now, #2 doesn't really make sense unless I go into a few more details. I'm not saying that only sad people blog, but that's really what happened with me. Blogging was a daily outlet...a true journal...where I could escape even for a few moments. While escaping the reality that was private practice, I could spill my thoughts out. Sometimes they made sense...and many times they did not.

But it made me feel good, and that's awesome.

Now I have a new job...that I absolutely love, and I'm running around all day. In the evenings, I'm running around the house, or running around town doing whatever...and I'm happy. I never feel the need to blog anymore.

And that makes Vera feel bad, because I know she likes to read about her friends' lives. So for that, I'm sorry.

As for the future of this blog...who knows? It's staying open for now, but I think I may fire myself...

S

Reading: Police Reports

Eating: I had Chinese food for lunch. Nummy.

Listening to: Gnarls Barkley

Annoyed at: Nada

Shopping for: New "going out" shoes

Sidenote of the Day: It's never a wise idea to tell me to dismiss a case when you're the defendant. It sets something off inside of me.

Quote of the Day: "You know you disagree with the police and you know you're going to dismiss this case." - The Defendant "No, sir...if I had to pick somebody to disagree with, it would probably be you." - Me.

Softball Update...

So a few members of my team made the executive decision to change leagues. We now play on Wednesdays instead of Mondays. This upsets me for three reasons:
1. The entire team wasn't consulted about the switch,
2. When I have jury trials, they are always on Thursday mornings, and
3. The reason why we've lost 3 of the last 4 games is because of our pitching. If the pitcher can't throw the ball over the plate, it doesn't matter if they're pitching against a superstar or a gimp. A ball is a ball.

Moving on...

Here's my new schedule:

5/17/06 - Field 1 at 8:15 and 9:15

5/24/06 - Field 6 at 6:15 and Field 8 at 8:15

5/31/06 - Field 7 at 6:15 and 8:15

6/7/06 - Field 1 at 6:15 and Field 2 at 8:15

6/14/06 - Field 4 at 7:15 and Field 3 at 9:15

6/21/06 - Field 6 at 7:15 and Field 5 at 9:15

6/28/06 - No Games

7/5/06 - Field 2 at 7:15 and Field 1 at 9:15

7/12/06 - Field 3 at 6:15 and Field 4 at 8:15

7/19/06 - No Games

7/26/06 - Field 8 at 7:15 and Field 7 at 9:15

8/2/06 - Field 1 at 6:15 and 8:15

Word.

S

Happy Mother's Day!

It's Mother's Day...I complain because I have to buy the Peg a gift, but in reality...she rocks.

So even though she doesn't read this, and I won't let her know about this, I want to give her a shout out, for being a super cool mom.

How cool is she? I know for a fact that she'll slap Paul hard across the mouth the next time she sees him, and that my friends...makes the Peg wicked cool.

S

Reading: Nada

Eating: I just ate some eggs.

Listening to: My brother is watching TV...I can hear it. It sounds boring.

Annoyed at: Nada

Shopping for: Nada

Sidenote of the Day: I just saw Les Mis. It was most excellent.

We Are the Champions, My Friends...

So my team won the Beginner Division of the Granite Faces Bon Spiel (a.k.a. the Rushmore Curling Club Tournament).

That means that we're winners. That's what we do. We win.

But seriously, we had an awesome game and now I'm really really sore. Who knew curling could make you so sore?

Snaps for Ethunk, Chop and Spin for coming out to see me curl. You all rock.

S

Reading: Nada

Eating: My brother and I had celebratory philly cheesesteak sandwiches after we won the tourney.

Listening to: Nada

Annoyed at: The photographer from the Journal. Okay, not annoyed, but there is a rather embarassing picture of me in today's sports section. However, it really is my fault...I was the one who wore the hat.

Shopping for: Curling shoes for next year

Sidenote of the Day: Seriously. I'm so sore I can hardly move my legs.

Flipping Elderly...

So we lost our first game in the Curling Tournament. I'm a bit bitter about that. Why? Not because we lost, because we're kind of used to losing after the league play...but because two of the men on the other team (who had never curled) used the "cripple stick".

Okay, "cripple stick" is the name either myself or my brother bestowed upon this stick. It enables a person to curl without having to do the slide.

Sidenote: The slide is like half the challenge of the game.

So one guy uses the cripple stick from the get go. He said he had a really bad back, and he would have to forfeit if he had to slide. So we were all "Here's the cripple stick". He threw the stones down the ice so hard, I thought some were going to split open when they hit our stones. His other team mates tried the slide. They weren't doing super well, but they were doing a'ight for their first time.

Then another guy on the team decides that he has bad knees and starts to use the cripple stick. He too smashes the stones down at the end.

And we lose the game...

Okay, if you can't curl, you can't curl, but this is a tournament. Our team has been working hard on steadily improving our form and strategy so we could curl. NOT PLAY SHUFFLEBOARD ON ICE! It was beyond frustrating.

But we have two more games today (at the very least). Hopefully we'll fare better if our opponents try and learn how to play the game.

Sad Sidenote: While we were playing, a guy playing on another team (not against us) fell down hard and broke his collarbone. Curling is a dangerous sport.

S

Reading: How to Take Out People who Play Shuffleboard" by Skoggle (First Draft)

Eating: I'm hungies

Listening to: My fingers furiously typing

Annoyed at: Shuffleboarders

Shopping for: A hearty stick

Sidenote of the Day: If this was a game where it didn't matter, I wouldn't really care, but we're in a tournament that we paid to play in...everybody should have to follow the rules. If you can't slide, you can't slide...that means you shouldn't play in a tournament. Would they let somebody on a motorized scooter race in the 100m? No, because you're supposed to run...with your legs...when you participate in that sport.

There...I feel surprisingly better now.

Sweep Haaaaaaaaaard...

This weekend is the second annual Rushmore Curling Club tournament.

Word.

My team, led by the skip (aka my brother who's too lazy to sweep), now has their schedule.

If you're in town, check out some or all of our games (each lasts roughly 1 hour). Everything is played at the Roosevelt Ice Arena in Rapid City. They're selling beer. There's also an Indian Fry Bread supper on Saturday night...with silent auction.

Holler.

FRIDAY May 5th - 8:00pm

SATURDAY May 6th - 10:15am, 2:45pm If we do so so, the 5th place game will be at 10:30pm

SUNDAY May 7th - 8:00am (Third Place Game) and 10:15am (First Place Game)

Obviously we'll only play on Sunday if we win some on Friday and Saturday.

Hope to see you there!

S

Reading: Motions

Eating: Peanut M&Ms

Listening to: Me fingers a-typin'

Annoyed at: My skinned knee from last night's softball game

Shopping for: Knee pads

Sidenote of the Day: We played a team last night where one of their players was deemed (either by myself or my brother) a "PE Teacher from Hermosa". I'll leave the visual to you.

I swear I'm not competitive...

Okay, that's a lie. I'm competitive. I'm especially competitive when it comes to softball.

Therefore, it should be interesting to see me play in the D-league for the Rapid City Softball Association. The D-league is affectionately known as the "Drinking League".

I promise not to yell, bellow or throw my glove.

I just lied.

I can't make that promise.

Anyway, if you're in the area, and you must be in the area because this station doesn't have a tall antenna...

(that's an "A League of Their Own" quote...fitting)

Here's my schedule:


May 1st - Field 7 at 6:15 and 8:15
May 8th - Field 1 at 7:15 and 9:15
May 15th - Bye
May 22nd - Field 4 at 6:15 and Field 7 at 7:15
May 29th - Memorial Day (No Games)

June 5th - Field 6 at 6:15 and 8:15
June 12th - Field 8 at 6:15 and Field 7 at 8:15
June 19th - Field 1 at 7:15 and Field 2 at 9:15
June 26th - Field 3 at 7:15 and Field 4 at 9:15

July 3rd - Bye
July 10th - Field 7 at 7:15 and Field 8 at 9:15
July 17th - Field 2 at 6:15 and Field 1 at 8:15
July 24th - Bye
July 31st - Field 5 at 7:15 and Field 6 at 9:15

August 7th - Field 2 at 6:15 and 8:15

If you can only make a few games, I suggest coming on either June 5th or August 7th. On those days, we play the "Global Market" team. I figure that game will play much like the Feminazis v. Stoners game in PCU...except Global Market doesn't have Blotter on their team.

Hope to see you all there.

S

Reading: Charge Outs

Eating: Nada

Listening to: People pleading their cases

Annoyed at: See above

Shopping for: Batting gloves

Sidenote of the Day: Our team name is the "Highmark Hitters". That's somewhat boring, especially considering a few of the teams in our division are named "Total Class," "X-Ray(Ted)" and "Slug-N-Chug".

CSI: Rapid City...

So I spent the day in Pierre. (Pronounced PEER for those of you from other places)

Why were you in Pierre, Skoggle?

I went to see another prosecutor argue in front of the Supreme Court and then I got to tour the brand new DCI/AG/Crime Lab building.

For an hour after the tour, I wanted to be a forensic scientist.

It's amazing...we send these pieces of evidence over there, and these scientists tell us whose hair is whose, whose DNA is on what, and what type of bullet was discharged from what type of gun.

That's hot.

There was a fascinating poster on blood spatter on shoes...nobody could figure out how it got on the shoes. Ultimately, it was discovered that the victim sat down and held her head in her hands. Blood dripped from her head...hit the floor...and splattered on the inside of her shoes (which was why there wasn't blood on the bottom of the shoes). The blood also dripped down through her pants and pooled into the shoes.

I'm sure some of you are now grossed out, but whatever...I find that stuff fascinating.

It was also cool to see an argument in front of our Supreme Court.

If you're in Pierre, you need to go to the Capitol to see the mosaic floor. When the building was built way long ago, there were 66 Italian men who laid down the small tiles for the floor. Instead of allowing each to put their signature design on the floor (which would look a bit crazy), each man was given one small bright blue tile to place anywhere on the floor. Anyway, I only spotted 5 while I was there, but only 55 have been spotted since the building's creation.

That is also cool.

The moral of the story? There are cool things in Pierre.

S

Reading: Nada

Eating: I had wicked good Mexican food in Pierre. Who knew?

Listening to: The dogs barking

Annoyed at: The 11 tile men who hid their blue tiles.

Shopping for: Nada

Sidenote of the Day: I got up at 4:45 to drive to Pierre. Oye.

Snaps for my shin...

So I am on a slowpitch softball team that started practice this week. We're in the "D Division," which pretty much means we take it semi-seriously and there is beer...possibly in the dugout.

Sidenote: It will be interesting to see how my competitive nature works with the D Division outlook on playing ball.

Anyway, we practiced this evening and our coach had me playing a bit in the outfield and then he moved me to shortstop. Now, I usually play second base, but shortstop is a bit more fun in slowpitch, as second base doesn't get a lot of play.

I hit well, and I was fielding very well. The best stop of the night was by my shin, which forced a hard grounder to a stand still right in front of me. I now have a golf ball sized welt on my shin. It's really hot.

But I followed through with the play, because that's how I roll.

Sidenote: I forgot how much I loved playing softball. Holler.

S

Reading: Nada

Eating: Chinese food

Listening to: Morningwood

Annoyed at: The pain in my shin

Shopping for: Ice bags

Sidenote of the Day: One girl on my team plays outfield and when she runs to catch a ball, she throws both arms over her head and they shake about...she looks like a muppet when the muppets run away from something.

Sidenote Two: She made me miss Milks.

I have a new enemy...

So today I sat in on a misdemeanor court trial. What does that mean? It means it was only in front of a judge...no jury.

Anyway, the defendant was contesting a ticket and when she was introduced to me prior to trial, she asked me...

Get ready for this...

"Are you Chris' mom?"

"No," I replied, "He's my brother."

For the record...Chris is 4 years younger than me.

Whatever...that girl is the enemy.

S

Reading: Text messages

Eating: I'm about to go to the Corn Exchange for dinner.

Listening to: AC/DC

Annoyed at: That girl

Shopping for: Nada

Sidenote of the Day: Seriously? I look old enough to have a 23 year-old child? REALLY?